Once upon a time, in a village called Iltonham there lived a man named Walmit. Walmit lived in a little shack on a small island in Iltonham harbour. His island was connected to the rest of town by a bridge, that during the day was raised so the ships could sail thru' into the harbour.
Now Walmit was the town mailman, which everyone thought was quite ironic, as Walmit had a penchant for blowing up people's letterboxes! Needless to say, because of this many of the townsfolk would not allow Walmit to deliver their mail to him from fear that he would blow up their letterboxes! (Which is only logical)
The people that overcame their fear that their letterboxes would be blown up had the added frustration that Walmit lived on a little island, in a little shack in the middle of the harbour, and the bridge that connected him to the rest of town was raised during the day so Walmit could not deliver their mail during the day. Because his shack was so small, and he could not deliver the mail sometimes he was forced to throw a sack of mail into the harbour, were it sunk without a trace, because if he did not there was no room for him to live!
When events fell into place and Walmit finally had the opportunity to deliver someone a letter he got very excited! He was so excited that he ran to the persons house, straight past their letter box, and down the garden path and banged on their door shouting:
Because the harbour bridge was up during the day Walmit was only able to get out at night to do this. The townsfolk would stagger to the window, half asleep and say:
Quite obviously this town had problems, so the townsfolk met and decided to petition the High Mailman Council in a far off town, to get them to give the job to someone who was more suited.
Because the mail never got thru' in the town, a young lad, who was quick and nimble, called Giarc was selected by the townsfolk to go petition the High Mailman Council, so off he set. When he got to the H.M.C., in their wisdom, they said:
Now the townsfolk were dismayed at the H.M.C. decision, but they decided to live with it for now.
One day it came to pass that an unemployed mailman came to live in the town of Iltonham. He built a fine mansion in the middle of town and everyone liked him!
The people of Iltonham rejoiced!
So off set Giarc to the H.M.C. to present the new case. In their wisdom the H.M.C said:
And then the leader of the H.M.C. took out his gun and shot young Giarc! Giarc was a quick and nimble young lad and altho' he was mortally injured he managed to escape back to Iltonham, where the townsfolk nursed him back to health, in the process ignoring the death sentence that the H.M.C. placed on his head.
This made the townsfolk very angry - they held a meeting in the town square and burnt effigies of the H.M.C members, and insulted them, questioning the legitimacy of their conception, and made statements about what the H.M.C members liked to do in their spare time, by themselves when no-one else was looking.
On one side of the town square stood the fine new empty mansion that the unemployed postman lived in. (The unemployed postman was not at the meeting, as Walmit had woken him during the night to give him his mail, and he had overslept.
As the townsfolk turned their gaze down the main street they could see the rows of letterboxes that Walmit, the mailman, had blown up.
The townsfolk then turned their gaze out to the harbour, where in the distance they could see Walmit sitting on his island with the town's mail. Walmit could not deliver it because it was day- time and the bridge was up so the ships could get in. They saw Walmit get up and try to open the door to his tiny shack - but a sack of mail blocked the door, so he picked up the sack and threw it into the harbour.
The townsfolk's gaze turned full circle, back to the fine empty new mansion that the unemployed postman, that everyone liked, had built in the middle of town, and they shook their heads in disbelief.