Differences between version 6 and previous revision of KnowYourSysadmin.
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| Newer page: | version 6 | Last edited on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 10:27:47 am | by AristotlePagaltzis | Revert |
| Older page: | version 5 | Last edited on Tuesday, November 2, 2004 10:19:22 am | by AristotlePagaltzis | Revert |
@@ -18,9 +18,9 @@
!! Situation: Low disk space.
Technical Thug::
- Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk usage, maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users who are more than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the offending parties. Places script in cron
. Disk usage does not change, since disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated mail, or file it away in triplicate.
+ Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk usage, maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users who are more than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the offending parties. Places script in crontab(5)
. Disk usage does not change, since disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated mail, or file it away in triplicate.
Administrative Fascist::
Puts disk usage policy in [MOTD]. Uses disk quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work. Locks accounts that go over quota.
Maniac::
<verbatim>
@@ -64,41 +64,41 @@
!! Situation: Root disk fails.
Technical Thug::
- Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair filesystem
from boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles microkernel in and starts script on neighboring machine to load binary boot code into broken machine, reformat and reinstall OS
. Lets it run over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.
+ Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair FileSystem
from boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles microkernel in and starts script on neighboring machine to load binary boot code into broken machine, reformat and reinstall OperatingSystem
. Lets it run over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.
Administrative Fascist::
Begins investigation to determine who broke the drive. Refuses to fix system until culprit is identified and charged for the equipment.
Maniac, Large System::
- Rips drive from system, uses sledgehammer to smash same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens pets. Abuses field engineer while they put in a new drive and reinstall the OS
.
+ Rips drive from system, uses sledgehammer to smash same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens pets. Abuses field engineer while they put in a new drive and reinstall the OperatingSystem
.
Maniac, Small System::
- Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets. Abuses bystanders while putting in new drive and reinstalling OS
.
+ Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets. Abuses bystanders while putting in new drive and reinstalling OperatingSystem
.
Idiot::
Doesn't notice anything wrong.
!! Situation: Poor network response.
Technical Thug::
Writes scripts to monitor network, then rewires entire machine room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs shoulders, says, "I've done all I can do," and goes mountain climbing.
Administrative Fascist::
- Puts network usage policy in [MOTD]. Calls up Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever answers for network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.
+ Puts network usage policy in [MOTD]. Calls up [
Berkeley]
and [
AT&T]
, badgers whoever answers for network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.
Maniac::
- Every two hours, pulls ethernet
cable from wall and waits for connections to time out.
+ Every two hours, pulls [Ethernet]
cable from wall and waits for connections to time out.
Idiot::
<verbatim>
# compress -f /dev/en0
</verbatim>
!! Situation: User questions.
Technical Thug::
- Hacks the code of emacs
' doctor-mode to answer new users questions. Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new "guru-mode", or for that matter, emacs
.
+ Hacks the code of [Emacs]
' doctor-mode to answer new users questions. Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new "guru-mode", or for that matter, [Emacs]
.
Administrative Fascist::
Puts user support policy in [MOTD]. Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance, often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form.
Maniac::
Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes barters knowledge for powerful drink and/or sycophantic adulation.
Idiot::
- Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until the user realizes few Unix systems support punched cards or JCL.
+ Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until the user realizes few [
Unix]
systems support punched cards or JCL.
!! Situation: __Stupid__ user questions.
Technical Thug::
@@ -116,11 +116,11 @@
!! Situation: Process accounting management.
Technical Thug::
- Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts scripts to sniff out any problems &
compute charges.
+ Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts scripts to sniff out any problems and
compute charges.
Administrative Fascist::
- Devotes 75% of disk space to accounting records owned by root and chmod'ed 000.
+ Devotes 75% of disk space to accounting records owned by root and chmod'ed <tt>
000</tt>
.
Maniac::
Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting.
Idiot::
<verbatim>
@@ -129,11 +129,11 @@
!! Situation: Religious war, [BSD] vs. System V.
Technical Thug::
- [BSD]. Crippled on System V
boxes.
+ [BSD]. Crippled on [SystemV]
boxes.
Administrative Fascist::
- System V
. Horrified by the people who use [BSD]. Places frequent calls to DEA.
+ [SystemV]
. Horrified by the people who use [BSD]. Places frequent calls to DEA.
Maniac::
Prefers [BSD], but doesn't care as long as __his__ processes run quickly.
Idiot::
<verbatim>
@@ -144,28 +144,28 @@
Technical Thug::
Weeps.
Administrative Fascist::
- [AIX] -- doesn't much care for the OS
, but loves the jackboots.
+ [AIX] -- doesn't much care for the OperatingSystem
, but loves the jackboots.
Maniac::
- System V
, but keeps [AIX] skills up, knowing full well how much Big Financial Institutions love [IBM]...
+ [SystemV]
, but keeps [AIX] skills up, knowing full well how much Big Financial Institutions love [IBM]...
Idiot::
[AIX].
!! Situation: Balky printer daemons.
Technical Thug::
- Rewrites lpd in Forth.
+ Rewrites lpd(8)
in [
Forth]
.
Administrative Fascist::
Puts printer use policy in [MOTD]. Calls customer support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get user who submitted the most recent job fired.
Maniac::
- Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all the print queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour from cron
.
+ Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all the print queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour from crontab(5)
.
Idiot::
<verbatim>
# kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &
</verbatim>
-!! Situation: OS
upgrade.
+!! Situation: OperatingSystem
upgrade.
Technical Thug::
Reads source code of new release, takes only what he likes.
Administrative Fascist::
@@ -252,9 +252,9 @@
!! Hobbies, Technical
Technical Thug::
- Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest. Optimizes [INTERCAL] scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual reality.
+ Writes entries for Obsfuscated [
C]
contest. Optimizes [INTERCAL] scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual reality.
Administrative Fascist::
Bugs office. Audits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations. Listens to police band.
Maniac::
Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office. Edits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations. Jams police band.
