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JohnMcPherson |
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!!NAME |
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rtfm - a response for easy questions from clueless lusers |
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!!SYNOPSIS |
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__rtfm __ __[[ -p ] [[ -h ] [[ -d option ] [[ -i interval ] [[ -a action ] [[ -q luser]__ |
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!!DESCRIPTION |
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__rtfm __ is a command for system administrators to use in dealing with new users. __rtfm __ is useful for dealing with users having trouble with their pictures downloaded from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica. __rtfm __ will continue to run until killed by hand, using `kill processid'. __rtfm __ can be invoked by anyone who has enough of a clue to know what a man page is. |
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!!OPTIONS |
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;__-p __ : Give the answer in a polite fashion. |
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;__-h __ : Tell the clueless luser to go to hell. Used with the -p option, they'll look forward to the trip. |
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;__-d option __ : Debug mode using option where option is one of the following: |
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* ''query'' Ask the luser what part of rtfm that he or she does not understand. |
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* ''planet'' Ask what planet the luser is from. |
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* ''literacy'' Ask the luser if the luser can read. |
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* ''english'' Ask the luser if the luser understands English. |
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* ''Mac '' Ask the luser if the luser has ever used a computer other than a Macintosh. |
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* ''Nintendo '' Same as the Mac option, but slightly more harsh. |
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;__-i interval__ : Enable within interval seconds. interval is the time between a luser asking the same damn fool question. This option must be activated for the __-a __ option. It stores the time of the question in __/var/run/luser __ and checks that file each time that rtfm is activated. interval is a number of minutes, of the form xxx.xx where each x is a decimal digit. The default is 5.00 minutes. |
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;__-a action__ : This defines some action to be taken in the event that the __-i __ flag condition is met. action can be defined either at the flag level or by a file. The options for flags are as follows: |
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* ''scream'' Let out a scream of utter frustration. |
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* ''hair'' Rip out your hair in total frustration. |
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* ''rm'' Automatic command ran in lusers home directory. It can have an addition __-rf __ flag added. |
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* ''ignore'' Ignore the luser. |
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* ''warn'' Warn the other sysadmins. |
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* ''forward'' Forward to CNS advising. Particullary if the complaint is /dev/null is full. |
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* ''kill'' Kill all the lusers processes. |
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* ''FILE=file.name '' Use a file to define a course of actions. This can be any executeable file except those using ksh, which no god-fearing right-thinking sysadmin would be caught using lest he be struck down by the wrath of God. |
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;__-q luser__ : Query file __/etc/luser __ to see if luser is a real luser or a first time luser. |
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!!FILES |
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;__/etc/luser__ : |
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!!SEE ALSO |
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;''mr.biff'' (2), : |
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!!BUGS |
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__rtfm __ only checks __/var/run/luser__ when the __-a__ option is specified and after the __-i__ option is invoked. Otherwise __/tmp __ would fill up rapidly on many systems. Also, core may dump if the __-a FILE= __ option is anatomically impossible. |
