CONDOM(M) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(M) NAME condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child processes SYNOPSIS condom [options] [processid] DESCRIPTION _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the spread of such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(y)). Any data passed to _condom_ by the protected pro- cess will be blocked, as specified by the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). _condom_ is known to defend against the following viruses and other malicious afflictions... o AIDS o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties) o Syphilis o Crabs o Genital warts o Gonorrhea o Chlamydia o Michelangelo o Jerusalem When used alone or in conjunction with pill(l), sponge(e), foam(m), and/or setiud(d), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a child process. If invoked from within a synchronous pro- cess, _condom_ has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes from becoming parent processes (see the -s op- tion below). When other process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child process from being forked becomes much greater. See pill(l), sponge(e), foam(m), and setiud(d) for more information. If no options are given, the current us- er's login process (as determined by the environment variable US- ER) is protected with a Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk. _condom_ will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below). OPTIONS The following options may be given to _condom_... -b BRAND BRANDs are as follows... trojan (default) ramses sheik goldcoin fourex -m MATERIAL The valid MATERIALs are... latex (default) saranwrap membrane -- WARNING! The membrane option is _not_ endorsed by the System Administrator General as an effective barrier against certain viruses. It is supported only for the sake of tradition. -f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported... plain (default) apple banana cherry cinna- mon licorice orange peppermint raspberry spearmint strawberry -r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip) -s STRENGTH STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to _condom_ by the protected process. Us- ing a larger value of STRENGTH increases _con- dom_'s protective abilities, but also reduces in- terprocess communication. A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess communication, but also increases the likelihood of a security breach. An extremely vigorous process or one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_ will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure. The default STRENGTH is 80%. -t TEXTURE Valid TEXTUREs are... rough (default) ribbed bumps lubricated (provides smoother interaction between processes) WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor! If exe- cution speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricat- ed' option. DIAGNOSTICS _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes... -1 An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk. 0 _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to the synchronous process). 1 _condom_ failed and data was allowed through. The danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child process is inversely proportional to the number of other protections employed and is directly propor- tional to the ages of the processes involved. BUGS _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although the System Administrator General has deemed that _con- dom_ is the most effective means of preventing the spread of sys- tem transmitted viruses). See celibacy(y) for information on a 100% effective program for preventing these problems. Re- member... the use of sex(x) and other related routines should on- ly occur between mature, consenting processes. If you must use sex(x), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your synchronous process. If we are all responsible, we can stop the spread of STVs. AUTHORS and HISTORY The original version of _condom_ was re- leased in Roman times and was only marginally effective. With the advent of modern technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more effective. The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at the University of Washing- ton (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last updated on 10/7/92. SEE ALSO celibacy(y), sex(x), pill(l), sponge(e), foam(m), and setiud(d)