Rev | Author | # | Line |
---|---|---|---|
5 | zcat(1) | 1 | Haiku, Haiku-a!%%% |
2 | No haiku for you today.%%% | ||
3 | Maybe tomorrow. | ||
4 | |||
5 | Two in the morning,%%% | ||
6 | I have ordered some cheese puffs.%%% | ||
7 | They will not arrive. | ||
8 | |||
9 | No more Web Twinkies.%%% | ||
10 | Must leave basement to get more.%%% | ||
11 | My world is ending. | ||
12 | |||
13 | Chaos reigns within.%%% | ||
14 | Reflect, repent and reboot.%%% | ||
15 | Order shall return. | ||
16 | |||
17 | A file that big?%%% | ||
18 | It might be very useful.%%% | ||
19 | But now it is gone. | ||
20 | |||
21 | Internet keyboard%%% | ||
22 | call your host to configure.%%% | ||
23 | Sorry, no clue here. | ||
24 | |||
25 | "Hey! What's going on?"%%% | ||
26 | "The internet is broken."%%% | ||
27 | "Oh, I'll try later." | ||
28 | |||
29 | My mail box is full.%%% | ||
30 | Seven megs of porn it seems.%%% | ||
31 | How did that get there? | ||
32 | |||
33 | How do you check mail?%%% | ||
34 | "Same way I always do it."%%% | ||
35 | And that helps me how? | ||
36 | |||
37 | "Can connect, can't browse?%%% | ||
38 | Sounds like TCP-IP"%%% | ||
39 | "Can't be. Just killed it." | ||
40 | |||
41 | A Virus Scanner?%%% | ||
42 | Of course I have one of those.%%% | ||
43 | No, wait... that's just DOS. | ||
44 | |||
45 | Dials, gets no answer.%%% | ||
46 | Also, her second line rings.%%% | ||
47 | A coincedence? | ||
48 | |||
49 | Installed new modem,%%% | ||
50 | now has to call Microsoft.%%% | ||
51 | God damn you, XP! | ||
52 | |||
53 | Account and password...%%% | ||
54 | Those seem perfectly fine here.%%% | ||
55 | Our server just hates you. | ||
56 | |||
57 | 14.4 modem%%% | ||
58 | my connection is too slow%%% | ||
59 | it must be your fault | ||
60 | |||
61 | "My web page is down,%%% | ||
62 | What is your excuse this time!?"%%% | ||
63 | You're an idiot. | ||
64 | |||
65 | Hard drive getting full.%%% | ||
66 | All your space are belong to%%% | ||
67 | Quake 3. What you say! | ||
68 | |||
69 | Help! Banzai Buddy!%%% | ||
70 | Monkey won't leave me alone!%%% | ||
71 | Pardon, while I laugh. | ||
72 | |||
73 | circular error%%% | ||
74 | GPF warning software%%% | ||
75 | has a GPF | ||
76 | |||
77 | System settings changed.%%% | ||
78 | Pick a Blue Screen Of Death cause.%%% | ||
79 | You must choose wisely. | ||
80 | |||
81 | Nimda virus strikes.%%% | ||
82 | Wipes out half of mail server.%%% | ||
83 | Weep for your lost porn. | ||
84 | |||
85 | Frontpage, Dreamweaver.%%% | ||
86 | A web tech craves not these things.%%% | ||
87 | Just view the source, Luke. | ||
88 | |||
89 | I wish I could say%%% | ||
90 | "I can't be clearer without%%% | ||
91 | patronizing you." | ||
92 | |||
93 | Can you please explain,%%% | ||
94 | what does SMTP mean?%%% | ||
95 | Send Me Tons of Porn. | ||
96 | |||
97 | Wipe cache, history.%%% | ||
98 | But work's proxy server files%%% | ||
99 | Nail me for goat porn. | ||
100 | |||
101 | Surfing porn at work.%%% | ||
102 | Hear supervisor's footsteps.%%% | ||
103 | Quickly minimize. | ||
104 | |||
105 | Ruthlessly pillaged %%% | ||
106 | from [here|http://www.lanset.com/troy/techhaiku.html]. zcat(1) thinks this%%% | ||
107 | link should be haiku. | ||
108 | |||
109 | also see [this|http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/DeCSS/Gallery/decss-haiku.txt] page %%% | ||
110 | a lengthy piece of haiku %%% | ||
111 | which decrypts movies. | ||
112 | |||
113 | |||
114 | ---- | ||
115 | ''Aborted effort.%%% | ||
116 | Close all that you have worked on.%%% | ||
117 | You ask far too much.'' | ||
118 | |||
119 | I feel so tired, %%% | ||
120 | very little sleep last night %%% | ||
121 | but I can wiki | ||
122 | |||
123 | as long as I wear %%% | ||
124 | my glasses to rest my eyes %%% | ||
125 | otherwise they hurt. | ||
6 | IanWehrman | 126 | |
127 | ---- | ||
128 | Stay the patient course.%%% | ||
129 | Of little worth is your ire.%%% | ||
130 | The network is down. |
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