...cos it just might come true. 

  

 In a more idyllic time and place, computers were the exclusive domain of people who actually knew how to use them. Anyone else who dared to challenge the beastly machines was quickly rebuked by the missive of "Syntax error." This was usually enough to convince them that they needed to go find something more productive to do, and they usually did. There were the few, however, that typed in something else, which usually crashed the entire system, with plenty of users on it. Even in these extreme cases, a mob of angry geeks would run this [Luser] out on a rail, and peace would once again be restored to the land. 

  

 Then one day, when the supplies of rails to run lusers out on was growing dangerously short, there needed to be some way to keep the lusers away from the lab. Guards were posted, but Newton's laws reared their ugly heads, proving irrefutably that 98-pound [geek]s don't make very good guards. They then tried locking the door, but got carried away with the whole thing, and ended up building a lock so elaborate that even they were unable to get into the lab. After hiring Vito and Nunzio to come over and bash down the door to the lab, the geeks sat down. A few hours (and quite a few alcoholic beverages) later, inspiration ensued. They would create computers that were small enough that one could be kept in every home. The users would be able to crash these things right and left (assuming they could ever find the "on" switch, that is.) It was a brilliant plan. Their computers would be safe from luser attack, and they may even earn a few bucks in the process. There was one tragic flaw in their plan. They failed to underestimate the stupidity of the lusers. 

 For a while, this kept impalings to a minimum at the lab for a while, but eventually the tech support people were driven over the edge by one too many users complaining that their computers were broken only to find they'd soaked it in bean-and-bacon soup for the past 17 weeks. These geeks bought Uzis and shot up the geeks responsible for putting them in that racket in the first place. Unfortunately, none of the geeks seem to have done anything about any sort of plan "B", either because they were too busy wallowing in money, or more receltly too busy perfecting their skills in swordplay to stave off the hordes of lusers. Eventually, the geeks knew they were in trouble when Vito and Nunzio were hired once again to bash down the door of the lab again, this time by the geeks. Forced to surrender, the geeks now became slaves to their own device, now having to constantly be making the things eaiser to use, less buggy, and more useful. Which just goes to show that the best laid plans of mice and men tend to be about equal. 

  

 Borrowing a quote from Rich Cook, "Programming today is a race between programmers who strive to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe, striving to build bigger and better idiots. So far the universe is winning." Where high technology is concerned, the true number of idiots we have on our hands shows itself, and it's not a pretty sight. Sure, someone can design something that even a two-year old can use, but when they do, it will turn out that only a 2-year old will want to use it. This was the guiding principle in the design of child-proof caps on medicine bottles. This may also explain why a frequently heard phrase from the customers on the tech support lines is "Let me get my two-year old... He knows this stuff better than I do. Sadly, in many cases this is true. 

  

  

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